Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Red Carpet, Pairs Division: Emily Blunt and Matt Damon

Sticking the dismount.

Emily Blunt and Matt Damon attend the premiere of "The Adjustment Bureau" in New York City. Emily Blunt is wearing an Elie Saab Couture dress, Brian Atwood pumps and Lorraine Schwartz jewelry. Matt Damon wears an Ermenegildo Zegna Couture ensemble.

Any opportunity to get away from the somewhat restrictive and uncharacteristically (for us) binary IN or OUT format will be taken, darlings. We'll never stop doing IN or OUTs, but we tend to have a more, shall we say, fluid notion of how to rate style and being forced to come down definitively on either side is limiting at times.

We've been featuring a lot of couples in our red carpet posts lately, whether actual ones or merely working ones. It's something different to do when it comes to being bitchy red carpet commenters so we're going to give it an official T Lo name: Red Carpet, Pairs Division.

Elie Saab Spring 2011 Couture
Model: Julia Saner (ELITE)

We like her dress for the most part. It's frilly and fussy and those are qualities she can pull off. We're not at all crazy about the bland sameness of the color palette here. Death to these all-neutral looks, we say. Just imagine how much better she'd look if this dress was in a jewel tone. Or if the shoes were anything other than the color of her skin. Still, it's a pretty dress and we like the hair and makeup. She certainly looks put together. If we have to score her, we'd put her at about an 8 on a scale of one to ten.

We've been pretty calm and reserved up till now but we can't hold this in any longer: WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO MATT DAMON? We admitted a few years back when he was designated People Mag's Sexiest Man Alive, that even though we found his personality appealling and his looks to be more than adequate, Matt never really made our pants move, for some reason. We don't think he does much for ladypants either, generally speaking. People Mag aside, you never really hear him described as a sex symbol and it's not a role he ever seemed interested in indulging. We always had a begrudging admiration for that and like that he sometimes chooses quirky roles that work against a leading man persona.

Having said that, there's no excuse for a man this young, this on top of his game, this good-looking, and with access to world class clothing and styling, to go out looking like a middle-aged suburban high school teacher post-divorce. The hair is awful and the glasses do nothing for him. The black shirt/no tie/black suit combo only really works on the suave types, not the generically all-American types like Matt.

In fact, Matt, Tom would like to have a word with you. Tom sympathizes with celebs like you and Cory Monteith because he has long suffered from the same debilitating issues as the both of you; namely, it doesn't matter how thin or in shape you ever become, you will always look to be roughly the same shape as a cinder block in clothes. Cory has an advantage in that he's so tall, but he seems to have learned the important lesson that blocky male body types look much better when they wear a tie or vest or some other item that will provide vertical lines. This is why all-black (or all any one color) is a bad idea on this body type. You need to break it up a little with color and pattern. Matt needs a crisply tailored suit in a gray or blue, a white shirt, and a patterned tie with some bright colors and visual interest. That's his look and he should have learned that by now. In fact, considering how long he's been in the public eye, he should have learned that ages ago.

If we were scoring Matt, he'd be about a 3 on the scale, and that's mainly due to his buttons being done correctly and his fly being up. Composite score: 5.5 out 10, and that's only because she did all the heavy lifting here. Isn't that always the way, ladies?

[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage, elle.com]

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