Monday, February 14, 2011

2011 Grammy Awards - Part 1

Hit it, tacky famewhores!

On any other night, at any other event, we'd call this a little slutty, but considering how insanely some of the other red carpet denizens dressed last night, she's Dame Judi Dench in comparison.

Alicia Arden
See what we mean?

Bonnie Mckee
They're very nice legs, but you don't need to present them like they're a world's fair exhibition.

Ciara in Emilio Pucci
You guys, what if Wonder Woman was Mayan?

Crystal Bowersox
We won't even go into the hair; the disheveled and sad-looking St. Patrick's Day parade float of a dress is distressing enough.

Cyndi Lauper
We'll give her credit for rocking it at her age. It's not bad. It's got a little edge to it.

Darren Criss
Tired of the "shitty shoes" conceit on the red carpet. It's not cute and it's bordering on disrespectful to the designer whose clothes he's agreeing to wear.

Eva LaRue
Is there a new "Best Legs" category to the Grammys or something? Lotta gals desperate to expose as much real estate as possible this year.

Eva Longoria in Ashi
It looks like an inflatable dress that's deflating.

Heidi Klum in Julien MacDonald
She almost seems over-dressed in comparison to everyone else. And when Heidi Klum is wearing a skin-tight gold dress with a slit straight up to her cooch and she's coming off as demure in comparison to everyone else? Honeys, that is one tacky red carpet.

Jada Pinkett Smith
We dig the hair and we dig the dress, but we don't like the hem.

Jenna Ushkowitz
The giant imaginary bow ruins it.

Jennifer Hudson in Versace
She's almost unrecognizable now. We like the dress but the shoes don't do much for it and the hair is just a bit too flat-ironed. Plus, even though we don't have boobs, we're feeling sympathy pain for hers.

Jennifer Lopez in Emilio Pucci
You know, we would expect no less from her at the Grammys. The fact that she can still show up looking like a disco ball with tits and legs at her 45th Grammys ceremony is a testament to the old gal.

Jewel Oh, honey. You gotta learn to bring it. These kids are passing you right by as you stand there dressed like you're attending a formal at your country club.

Katy Perry in Giorgio Armani
It's insane and tacky and we hated it on sight, but with the light of day we kind of love it for being so ridiculous.

Kelly Osbourne in Tadashi Shoji
Very pretty.

Kevin McHale
A bit too waiter-ish and what's that on his back? Is he cramming for a final and brought his text books with him?

Kim Kardashian in Kaufmanfranco
Pretty fabulous, but we hate the ubiquitous nude peeptoe platforms.

Lady Gaga in Embryo
We don't think it's a brilliant statement or anything silly like that. We just think it's hilarious and a rather ingenious way to ensure not only that everyone will be talking about it the next day, but also the next year, and even a decade down the line. "Remember when Gaga showed up at the Grammys in an egg?" will be this generation's "Remember when Madonna performed in a wedding gown at the VMAs?"

Lea Michele in Emilio Pucci
It's not a bad dress, but the "May I introduce you all to MY LEGS?" pose is ridiculous.

LeAnn Rimes in Reem Acra
That's a pretty fabulous dress but the hair is awful. Doesn't flatter her at all.

Lilian Garcia
Lilian Garcia's legs are having their own little Mardi Gras parade.

Nicole Kidman in Jean Paul Gaultier Couture
It's a gorgeous dress; perfectly suited to her.

Rihanna in Christian Dior Couture
Stunning. Perfect stagewear; highly dramatic.

Rihanna in Jean Paul Gaultier Couture
And we thought this was a jaw-dropping way to enter an awards ceremony. Is she wearing underwear? We can't tell, but the important thing is that the next morning, the world is asking "Did Rihanna wear any underwear to the Grammys?" and THAT, darlings, is BRILLIANT.

Selena Gomez in J. Mendel
Pretty much flawless.

Selma Blair
We don't like the way the skirt attaches to the top, but we do like the color combo and the lines of the dress. It's quietly sophisticated and chic without being showy.

[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage]

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